DYING TO SELF: THE ZEAL AND DESIRE FOR CHRIST’S MISSION
In the core of my heart lies a profound calling that far exceeds any personal ambitions or desires. It is a call to immerse myself fully in the mission of Christ, a mission where my own desires must fade into the background to make way for a higher purpose: one not centered on self-interest, but on serving God and His people. This commitment to the mission is deeply rooted in my vocation as a follower of Jesus and is powerfully exemplified in the act of “dying to self” the surrender of personal will in pursuit of God’s greater will. It is in this surrender that I have found true joy, fulfillment, and resilience in my mission.
In a world that often champions individual success and personal fulfillment, my life as a missionary stand as a radical contrast. Like all Mill Hill Missionaries, I am called to be ready to go anywhere, at any time, to serve the poor and those most in need of God’s grace. This call echoes Christ’s commission in Matthew 28:19, “Go and make disciples of all nations.” It beckons me to see God in every person and in every situation whether joyful or painful, familiar or foreign.
I am driven, not by a zeal for my own desires, but by a deep passion for the mission of Christ. This mission is not merely about spreading the Gospel; it is about encountering Christ in every moment, in every person, in every experience. Through this encounter, I am continuously attuned to the needs of the world especially the needs of the poor, the marginalized, and those who have yet to experience the love of God.
My zeal for this mission comes from a life-changing encounter with the divine, one that has transformed my heart. Cardinal Herbert Vaughan, the founder of the Mill Hill Missionaries, called us to be ready to go “to the ends of the earth” in service to Christ and His Kingdom. This readiness is not born from human ambition, but from a radical transformation within me, a transformation described by St. Paul in Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” Through this crucifixion of the self, I find true fulfillment not in seeking recognition, but in aligning my life with God’s greater plan.
To die to myself means learning to see God in all experiences especially in the most challenging and painful ones. As a missionary, I am called to meet people where they are whether in their suffering, their hopes, or their daily struggles. This requires more than a deep understanding of the Gospel; it demands empathy, compassion, hope and love. As Pope Francis wrote in Evangelii Gaudium: “The joy of the Gospel fills the hearts and lives of all who encounter Jesus.” This joy is not tied to worldly success, but to the experience of encountering Christ in every situation, no matter how difficult.
In my pastoral experience, I see God in the faces of the poor, in the cries for justice, and in the silent prayers of those who feel they have nothing left. In these moments, I am reminded that my identity is not formed by my own needs or desires, but by the needs of those I am sent to serve. By emptying myself of personal aspirations, I become a vessel through which God’s grace can flow to others.
Living a life of unceasing prayer is vital to my mission. Prayer sustains my soul and fuels my zeal. It is through daily prayer that I am reminded of my true purpose to serve Christ by serving others. This ongoing connection with God helps me to see each experience, whether success or failure, as part of His larger plan. As St. Paul writes in Romans 8:28, “We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.”
In this journey of self-emptying, I have come to understand what true self-actualization means. It does not come from worldly success or achievement, but from aligning my life with God’s will. As the Second Vatican Council affirms in Lumen Gentium, holiness is not a distant ideal but a lived reality for all Christians, especially those called to serve others. For me, this holiness is continually realized through the service I offer to others, transforming both myself and those I encounter in the process.
A central principle of my calling as a Mill Hill Missionary is the readiness to serve in the most difficult and least glamorous of missions. Whether in remote villages, war-torn countries, or impoverished urban areas, I am called to bring the light of Christ to those who are often forgotten by society. In Matthew 25:35, Christ tells us: “I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” In these most challenging environments, my identity as a missionary is sharpened. While the world may see only despair, I am called to recognize the face of Christ in the midst of suffering. The greatest need is not just physical nourishment but the grace of God, offered
True joy and fulfillment in my mission do not come from accumulating earthly goods or achieving personal success, but from the complete surrender of my will to God’s plan. This paradox lies at the very heart of the missionary life: by emptying myself, I am filled with the fullness of God. As St. John the Baptist said, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). The call to holiness and self-emptying is not a one-time event, but a lifelong process that demands constant renewal, conversion, and surrender to God’s will.
In the words of Cardinal Vaughan, “The missionary must be a man of prayer, a man of sacrifice, a man of great faith, and a man who is ready to suffer for the love of Christ.” It is through prayer, sacrifice, and faith that I am empowered to bring God’s love and grace to the most broken and marginalized of society.
The life I lead as a missionary is not one of ease or self-interest. It is a life marked by sacrifice, prayer, and self-emptying. In this radical surrender to God’s will, I find joy, fulfillment, and the strength to endure the challenges of mission. Whether in the streets of a city, in a remote village, or in the hearts of the poor, I am called to bring Christ to those who need Him most. Remembering that the mission is not about my own desires or achievements, but about following Christ wherever He leads especially to the places and people most in need of His love and grace. May we all find the courage to answer this call, to die to ourselves, and to live fully for the mission of Christ.
MARK MUGERWA, UGANDAN
MEP STUDENT
ST JOSEPH AND MARY SHAURI MOYO, NAIROBI-KENYA.
