The renowned bishop R Barron admirably and unprecedentedly wished some of the fine writings of Dante or Chesterton were included in the Bible and be Scripture per se; I have the same sentiments for the famous work of William P Young, The Shack, especially the mysteries invitation meet me at the Shack, signed, Papa – inviting the wounded, angry, embittered Mackenzie to the place of past hurt and tragedy. A spiritual and theological masterpiece!
The audacity to go back to where you have been before, especially where painful traumatic memories accumulate or are frozen and stored away; for many of us, missionaries, going back to where we worked for years, is a no-go area, an unwritten almost biblical rule – never go back to where you have worked before!
For some of us, the audacity to go back is a delight, a duty, a bit like Paul and Barnabas; one, to reconcile and rebuild the community, and the other or both as son(s) of encouragement; one, to water the seeds planted, the other, to watch the harvest from the toil and planting.
Back in South Africa, in Kroonstad Diocese, in Sasolburg, Parys and Viljoenskroon, to Koppies, Tumahole, Zamdela, Vredeford, Dennysville and Orangeville, was a lovely back to my roots, a bit like home coming, in the lyrics of Lucky Dube. Driving, walking and meeting the faces, the places I knew, prayed, toiled and exchanged hurt, hate, help, care, faith, compassion and solidarity brought alive the famous word, nostalgia.
To see the growth, the change, the development as well as the regression, death, hurt, weakness, vulnerability and to sense joy, gratitude, healing was the Joy of the Gospel which everyone longs for deep down – not perfection, not prosperity, not power, not wealth, but simply heart speaking onto heart – Cor ad Cor loquitur.
And I dared to say to the friends, family and Christian communities that a fragile imperfect missionary like me has returned to you, to this Church, on this holy ground of your lives and liturgical Assembly where I prayed and served and toiled, for two reasons; to say I am sorry for the ways I hurt any of you and to remind you, louder and with more conviction that God loves you and we are all his beloved children no matter the ups and downs and challenges of life.
The audacity to go back got me to hear some feedback of how I came across and the lives I touched, changed and the impact and legacy I left – just like many or every missionary. And there were gifts, blessings and wishes given in reciprocity and indeed more nostalgia.
To Him whose power working in us can do infinitely more than we can ask or even image, be glory forever! The mission to heal, reconcile, rebuild continues – amare et servire.
My next reflection on request by Fr Fons himself will be MISSION IN SOUTH AFRICA, TWENTY FIVE YEARS ON, UNFINISHED REPARATION, RECONCILIATION, CONFLICTS, DIVISION, MOVING ON.
Emmanuel Mbeh, March 2025.
